wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize