8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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