idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
