I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
