There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Randomize
