This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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