I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
