Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
