Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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