it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
