Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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