gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
