I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
