I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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