I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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