Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
