so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
