Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
