I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
