Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
