Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Operation Purity has been aborted
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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