Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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