he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
