We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
