Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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