I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
