Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
