did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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