Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
