my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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