ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
