She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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