CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
