I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
