You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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