508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
