After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
