what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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