Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
