they need to just BURY HIM!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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