i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
