Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
