I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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