I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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