shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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