I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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