so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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