I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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