oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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