Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
