it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
