He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
