Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
