shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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