quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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