he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
