i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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