I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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