Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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